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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are typically coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t already reached that conclusion by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, due to significant negative perception linked to the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While up to 75% of people found to have the condition are males, studies points out this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her support system, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples as a child. It’s been a process of understanding over the years what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I never had that as a kid,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, struggles with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his GP, he was directed to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number